O wikednesse, O miserie, O funne!

I, Johan Bale, haue sinned agaynst God and manne. I haue turned my blogge in to a sinke of sinne, a platforme for Antichriste, that whore of Babylone, that painted harlot. I haue spreade abroad the sinneful wordes of a wikked man, Myles Huggarde. God haue mercie on me.

I founde, in my travails on the see of the inter-net, a newe game, called "Marry, Shagge, Throwe off a Cliffe." Since all my workes must leade menne to righteousnesse, I have chosen to play with people from the New Testament so thatte God will not iugde us, but I feare the delectacion of thise plesaunt game will proue to muche for vs. Decide whiche person to ioine with in bondes of matrimonie, whiche to throwe from a cliffe, and whiche to fournicate with in wantonesse. Iustify youre ansuers. I chalenge Hogarde to matche mee in this pastime, and we wille se whiche creature shall triumph!

Lidia, the sellar of purple; Mary Magdalene, Dalila.

My enemie, the speakre of foulle lyes, Miles Hogg-harde will in his piggishe voyce ansuer me and aske another.

Miles Hogarde's DEF

D Drede of God and eke his iudgement
Dryven hath we from our heartes,
Darth without cause some both invent
Divels can playe no worse partes.

E Envy hath entred in suche wyse
Evyll men thereby we see
Enviouslye good men dispise
Even of mere enmitie.


F Fained falsehode with flatery
Faithles folke have founde,
Faininge a face fraudelenty
Friendship for to confounde.

Miles Hogarde's ABC

A hath fyrst place I muste
As cause of wo to stande,
Avarice and eke fleshly lust,
Alone distroyed this lande.

B Baren are we of blessednes
Blinded wit worldly care,
Boldnes in vice we se expresse,
Babes can the trueth declare.

C Covitousnes with crafty dedes
Can scarsly hence be rydde:
Conspiracie much canker bredes
Couertly in heartes hydde